21. CONFIDENCES
Sergio and Laura woke up early because they wanted to take another pleasant walk on the beach before the sun heated with all its rigor and was very crowded. On the first morning of their reconciliation, he invited them for a walk. A stimulating breeze with an intense smell of saltpeter enlivened the landscape, still enveloped in a light mist that blurred the imposing cliffs that lined the beach.
On their way back, they went to the needle fishermen's boats, and Laura bought some for lunch, which she would also cook in the apartment. Along with the crowd of buyers and curious people, they met Marc's mother, who seemed to have no interest in greeting them after the slight of the last time. But Laura tried to justify the ironies of her ex-husband.
“Excuse him, that night we had awful news from some relatives, and he was not in an excellent mood.
“Any misfortune?
“No, it was a false alarm.
“I apologize. We all have a foul day sometimes. And how are you spending your vacation, dear? You have a magnificent appearance; I see you have tried the company of your husband! Unfortunately, mine is no longer with us. His business demanded him, and he returned to the city.
“You don't know how I feel.
“Why don't you come to my house this afternoon and have tea together?
“it will delight us, right, Sergio?
“If that is an apology, we accept your invitation.
“How about at seven, since it's not so hot anymore?
“We'll be there.
“My house has no loss; it is the largest on the hillside. See you later, dear. How fresh are these sea bass? I think I'll buy some for lunch!
Laura and Sergio concluded their walk on the restaurant terrace, where they had breakfast. All the hammocks were already occupied, and the beach was beginning to look very busy. Several families had installed their own sun loungers and parasols. Several young children, accompanied by their parents, played at making sand figures with their buckets. They filled with sand and repeatedly emptied awkwardly, without the figures maintaining their consistency over.
“What do these children remind you of, Laura? Sergio asked, although he already knew the answer.
“You already know Nina and our games on the beach. I can't imagine that over twelve years have passed. Seeing these children gave me the impression that it was yesterday when I did the same with Nina. In those years, I felt like the happiest woman on earth! And then ...
“It is never too late to start again.”
“But Nina is no longer three years old.”
“No, it's true, I couldn't carry her on my shoulders today.”
They settled at a beachside table, and a waitress interrupted their nostalgic memories. On the beach, next to the terrace, the voices of a group of teenagers from Marc's gang could be heard. Laura and Sergio could hear their lively conversation, but the teenagers couldn't see them. They were at the entrance to the piano-bar and were discussing the performances that night.
“It's worthless tonight, they are the four tacky ones of all time,” Marc commented with his friends.
“What happened to that talented guitarist, who performed here every night?”
“The boy in the hammocks told me he eloped with the singer, with whom he formed a duo.”
“He'll be having good times because she was easy. I fucked her on the beach, the day she performed here!”
Laura shuddered and felt a deep sense of discomfort and sadness upon hearing that amazing statement. Sergio was also deeply saddened by what he had heard and made the gesture of getting up and asking the adolescents if he had been a bully, but Laura stopped him.
“Leave it, Sergio! Yes, it must be true because that day, Nina came to the apartment in the early morning, sulking and seemed to feel guilty about something. My God, how didn't I notice! How much she must have suffered that day having no one to trust!
“That must have been another reason she ran away with her friend.”
“Poor thing, Nina! I am to blame for my awful example!”
“It's too late for regrets. One day or another, it had to happen ... Now let's hope it didn't have any consequences because I'm sure they wouldn't take any precautions ... I think Nina was a virgin. I had asked her that same day. She seemed to know everything about sex. Hopefully, that was true, because I had never had a woman-to-woman conversation with her on this delicate subject.”
“I think we should not go to the invitation to the mother of that bully. I would not like to meet him.”
“No, Sergio, we must go, as if we had heard nothing. Not all the fault should be the boy, I do not think he forced her; she must have consented. But I don't understand it. Nina reproached me for my behavior because she seemed to be sure what her own should be! I don't know what must have happened on the beach that night. Maybe they drank too much and were not aware of what they were doing. When she got to the apartment, she looked dizzy. I didn't realize that Nina is at the worst age when she needs the most help. I could have avoided everything that is going on.”
“There is no remedy, now we can only hope that he will overcome this crisis as soon as possible and return to us without major consequences.”
The dizziness
Nina and Nano woke up the next day euphoric at having finished the composition of the first three songs that they considered very inspired, and they had the mood to compose others with the same inspiration.
Before breakfast, they discussed what they would do on that another day, which promised to be as creative as the first. They had set out to compose enough songs to complete those necessary to record a compact which they would send to the record label.
“Another great day, Nina, I hope you are as inspired as yesterday,” Nano commented, playing with the hounds, who seemed to ask them to retake an exciting ride.
“Today, I have no humor for romantic themes. Today I feel more alive than ever, and that is precisely what is already going through my head, a happy song of thanks to life ...”
“That reminds me of an Argentine singer-songwriter.
“Violeta Parra! Nina interrupted him. I remember the previous verses:
«Thanks to the life that has given me so much
It gave me two stars, that when I open them,
Perfect, I distinguish the black from the white.
And in the high sky its starry background.
And in the crowds, the man I love ...”
“Do you think I can ever be as popular and a good singer-songwriter as she is?”
“You're on your way to it!”
“Come on, let's put on our swimsuits because today I want to start the day with a good dip in the pool, that will inspire me.”
“An excellent idea!”
They went down to the pool, always preceded by the agile sighthounds, and Nina stepped forward, entering the crystal clear and cold water.
“It's freezing, but I like it! Come on, don't be cold and come in too!”
“I'm not as eager to live as you are, I don't know if I can bear the chilly water...”
“Nano, you've already given me the idea for a new song! Listen:
“I thank the life
that gave me the hope,
the illusion and the confidence,
the passion and the innocence,
the virtue and the tolerance,
the youth and the nostalgia,
poetry, and singing.
I thanks to life,
because it has given me the memory,
the happiness and the joy,
the dream and the charm,
the sympathy and the goodness,
love and friendship.
Kindness and courtesy.
I thank the life
that has given me
the pleasure of the senses,
the smell of the perfumes,
the sound of the music,
the imagination of the stories,
the fantasy of the dreams,
and the vision of beauty.
Nina felt that those simple verses had come from the depths of her soul because they spoke of her and her desire to live and be happy doing what she was passionate about.
“Is the icy water that inspired you? Nano asked, not hiding his admiration.
“No,” Nano's question startled Nina, “have been the sea-green color of your eyes, like all the others!”
“You'll make me blush! Nina, maybe this is the best time to ask yourself this question. I know that we are wonderful friends and even better colleagues and that we understand each other perfectly, but do you also want me as a lover?”
Nano's question startled Nina. After the painful experience on the beach, she disliked any allusion to sexuality. She felt that she was becoming callous and even frigid, and had no desire to have sex again. Now he understood Nano's veiled allusions about their relationships.
No, she couldn't see him as a lover, because he didn't want to have a lover. But she needed to have him by her side, and she couldn't make him feel undesirable. Nano expected an answer, and she couldn't lie to him. After a few anxious moments of doubt, he found the only answer:
“Nano, remember what we promised to Sofia. It is wiser not to talk about this topic while we are living at home. Do you agree?
Nano knew the answer had been “No.” He knew it from the day he met her. Nina admired him but did not desire him, as she had desired his music classmate. No doubt, the cause of her growing frigidity was the consequence of this conflict, for which there was no solution. Nano had no choice but to accept the facts and resign himself to being a sheet of ruled paper, as he had once commented., there was the culprit if he, by inviting her to sing at the piano-bar and collaborating in her success with her encouragement and arrangements, for which she was not prepared. Nano had the sad feeling that for Nina, he was still the guy in the deckchairs who played the guitar well, attracted only by his eyes' color, the inspiration for his first song.
“Sure, Nina; I agree.”
“Then a good cold water bath will do you good. Come on, don't be cold, and take a shower with me!”
The pool conversation had darkened the enthusiasm with which they had woken up, and they quietly returned to the house.
The hostess made breakfast for them, but Nina barely drank a cup of coffee. Her expression revealed sudden discomfort. She had even lost the healthy pink color of her cheeks. The woman feared that she might be ill because the day before, she had eaten hungrily.
“Not feeling well?” She asked alarmed.
“Yes, Oana; It is only slight dizziness; it must be from the bath in the pool.
The water was chilly!”
“It is strange because the chilly water rather stimulates you. Wouldn't the bad for missi you ate last night be you? But this morning, you seemed very excited!
“Don't worry about me, it's something that's been no good for me.”
Nano was also alarmed because he thought this dizziness must have a cause, and he could not imagine what it could be.
“Nano, I would like to eat strawberries. Where could we buy strawberries?”
“Nina, we are in the wilderness; there are no supermarkets or greengrocers here. Where can we get strawberries in this place? It won't be a whim!”
“I don't know, but you have to go find strawberries.”
Nina suddenly felt nauseous and wanted to vomit, and she couldn't hide the symptoms anymore.”
“Nano ... I think I'm pregnant!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I'm sure. I have all the symptoms of pregnancy!”
“Your classmate!”
“Yes, Marc!”
“I don't know if I should congratulate you or pity you.”
“My parents shouldn't know anything. I have to abort it. Nano, help me! We have to find a gynecologist who performs abortions and does not ask questions.”
“It is not so simple, Nina, you are only 15 years old, you cannot abort without the consent of your parents.”
“My God, what a mess I've gotten myself into because of that damn night! I can not have a child at fifteen and give up my dreams and projects!”
“Don't you think the father should know?”
“Who, that stupid and cocky Marc? No, Nano, he's less than anyone!”
The hostess of the house had not been present during the first symptoms. When she came back with more coffee, Nina had nausea and vomiting again. The Romanian woman recognized the symptoms of pregnancy and dared to ask Nina:
“Good heavens, girl, won't you be pregnant?”
But Nina couldn't answer, because nausea continued. Nano believed that he should cover it up, and she did not hesitate to deny it.
“No, surely, it is something that will have been bad for her.”
“You should know better than nobody!”
“Precisely for this reason, Nina cannot be pregnant.”
“I understand... I will make you an infusion of some herbs that will do you good.”
When the woman entered the house, Nina reacted.
“Thanks, this has to be our secret.”
“Until when?”
“Until I get an abortion and this nightmare is over. We have to get out of this house ...!”
“And where will we go?”
“I don't know, I can't think clearly. Think about me!”
“Nina, face the facts, this is not a game; your mother has to know. Only she can help you.”
“If I have to go back to my mother, I want to ask you something very delicate, and you can refuse if you don't accept it. I don't want anyone to know that I'm pregnant since March. Could you assure that it's
yours?”
“Nina, are you asking me to convince your mother to authorize your abortion?”
“Yes, I beg you ...”
“Do you know what you are asking me means?”
“I know, but I don't want anyone to know who the father is, because I hate him and I don't want him to meddle in my decision to abort. If you take responsibility for everything, it will be easier. My mother appreciates you, and she will be easier for her to accept the abortion.”
“Nina, this is not a singing duet. You ask me to be an accomplice to your abortion.”
“Yes, and I know it is a hard decision, but you are my best friend, and I need your help.”
Nano remained in dramatic silence. He was trying to imagine the consequences of what she asked him to do. But if he disagreed, she would be much more miserable, and he felt a great affection for her and did not want to see her suffer.
“Okay, I will do what you ask me. I suppose it is a test for the value of our friendship!.”
“Thanks, Nano, I knew I could trust you!”
On their way back, they went to the needle fishermen's boats, and Laura bought some for lunch, which she would also cook in the apartment. Along with the crowd of buyers and curious people, they met Marc's mother, who seemed to have no interest in greeting them after the slight of the last time. But Laura tried to justify the ironies of her ex-husband.
“Excuse him, that night we had awful news from some relatives, and he was not in an excellent mood.
“Any misfortune?
“No, it was a false alarm.
“I apologize. We all have a foul day sometimes. And how are you spending your vacation, dear? You have a magnificent appearance; I see you have tried the company of your husband! Unfortunately, mine is no longer with us. His business demanded him, and he returned to the city.
“You don't know how I feel.
“Why don't you come to my house this afternoon and have tea together?
“it will delight us, right, Sergio?
“If that is an apology, we accept your invitation.
“How about at seven, since it's not so hot anymore?
“We'll be there.
“My house has no loss; it is the largest on the hillside. See you later, dear. How fresh are these sea bass? I think I'll buy some for lunch!
Laura and Sergio concluded their walk on the restaurant terrace, where they had breakfast. All the hammocks were already occupied, and the beach was beginning to look very busy. Several families had installed their own sun loungers and parasols. Several young children, accompanied by their parents, played at making sand figures with their buckets. They filled with sand and repeatedly emptied awkwardly, without the figures maintaining their consistency over.
“What do these children remind you of, Laura? Sergio asked, although he already knew the answer.
“You already know Nina and our games on the beach. I can't imagine that over twelve years have passed. Seeing these children gave me the impression that it was yesterday when I did the same with Nina. In those years, I felt like the happiest woman on earth! And then ...
“It is never too late to start again.”
“But Nina is no longer three years old.”
“No, it's true, I couldn't carry her on my shoulders today.”
They settled at a beachside table, and a waitress interrupted their nostalgic memories. On the beach, next to the terrace, the voices of a group of teenagers from Marc's gang could be heard. Laura and Sergio could hear their lively conversation, but the teenagers couldn't see them. They were at the entrance to the piano-bar and were discussing the performances that night.
“It's worthless tonight, they are the four tacky ones of all time,” Marc commented with his friends.
“What happened to that talented guitarist, who performed here every night?”
“The boy in the hammocks told me he eloped with the singer, with whom he formed a duo.”
“He'll be having good times because she was easy. I fucked her on the beach, the day she performed here!”
Laura shuddered and felt a deep sense of discomfort and sadness upon hearing that amazing statement. Sergio was also deeply saddened by what he had heard and made the gesture of getting up and asking the adolescents if he had been a bully, but Laura stopped him.
“Leave it, Sergio! Yes, it must be true because that day, Nina came to the apartment in the early morning, sulking and seemed to feel guilty about something. My God, how didn't I notice! How much she must have suffered that day having no one to trust!
“That must have been another reason she ran away with her friend.”
“Poor thing, Nina! I am to blame for my awful example!”
“It's too late for regrets. One day or another, it had to happen ... Now let's hope it didn't have any consequences because I'm sure they wouldn't take any precautions ... I think Nina was a virgin. I had asked her that same day. She seemed to know everything about sex. Hopefully, that was true, because I had never had a woman-to-woman conversation with her on this delicate subject.”
“I think we should not go to the invitation to the mother of that bully. I would not like to meet him.”
“No, Sergio, we must go, as if we had heard nothing. Not all the fault should be the boy, I do not think he forced her; she must have consented. But I don't understand it. Nina reproached me for my behavior because she seemed to be sure what her own should be! I don't know what must have happened on the beach that night. Maybe they drank too much and were not aware of what they were doing. When she got to the apartment, she looked dizzy. I didn't realize that Nina is at the worst age when she needs the most help. I could have avoided everything that is going on.”
“There is no remedy, now we can only hope that he will overcome this crisis as soon as possible and return to us without major consequences.”
The dizziness
Nina and Nano woke up the next day euphoric at having finished the composition of the first three songs that they considered very inspired, and they had the mood to compose others with the same inspiration.
Before breakfast, they discussed what they would do on that another day, which promised to be as creative as the first. They had set out to compose enough songs to complete those necessary to record a compact which they would send to the record label.
“Another great day, Nina, I hope you are as inspired as yesterday,” Nano commented, playing with the hounds, who seemed to ask them to retake an exciting ride.
“Today, I have no humor for romantic themes. Today I feel more alive than ever, and that is precisely what is already going through my head, a happy song of thanks to life ...”
“That reminds me of an Argentine singer-songwriter.
“Violeta Parra! Nina interrupted him. I remember the previous verses:
«Thanks to the life that has given me so much
It gave me two stars, that when I open them,
Perfect, I distinguish the black from the white.
And in the high sky its starry background.
And in the crowds, the man I love ...”
“Do you think I can ever be as popular and a good singer-songwriter as she is?”
“You're on your way to it!”
“Come on, let's put on our swimsuits because today I want to start the day with a good dip in the pool, that will inspire me.”
“An excellent idea!”
They went down to the pool, always preceded by the agile sighthounds, and Nina stepped forward, entering the crystal clear and cold water.
“It's freezing, but I like it! Come on, don't be cold and come in too!”
“I'm not as eager to live as you are, I don't know if I can bear the chilly water...”
“Nano, you've already given me the idea for a new song! Listen:
“I thank the life
that gave me the hope,
the illusion and the confidence,
the passion and the innocence,
the virtue and the tolerance,
the youth and the nostalgia,
poetry, and singing.
I thanks to life,
because it has given me the memory,
the happiness and the joy,
the dream and the charm,
the sympathy and the goodness,
love and friendship.
Kindness and courtesy.
I thank the life
that has given me
the pleasure of the senses,
the smell of the perfumes,
the sound of the music,
the imagination of the stories,
the fantasy of the dreams,
and the vision of beauty.
Nina felt that those simple verses had come from the depths of her soul because they spoke of her and her desire to live and be happy doing what she was passionate about.
“Is the icy water that inspired you? Nano asked, not hiding his admiration.
“No,” Nano's question startled Nina, “have been the sea-green color of your eyes, like all the others!”
“You'll make me blush! Nina, maybe this is the best time to ask yourself this question. I know that we are wonderful friends and even better colleagues and that we understand each other perfectly, but do you also want me as a lover?”
Nano's question startled Nina. After the painful experience on the beach, she disliked any allusion to sexuality. She felt that she was becoming callous and even frigid, and had no desire to have sex again. Now he understood Nano's veiled allusions about their relationships.
No, she couldn't see him as a lover, because he didn't want to have a lover. But she needed to have him by her side, and she couldn't make him feel undesirable. Nano expected an answer, and she couldn't lie to him. After a few anxious moments of doubt, he found the only answer:
“Nano, remember what we promised to Sofia. It is wiser not to talk about this topic while we are living at home. Do you agree?
Nano knew the answer had been “No.” He knew it from the day he met her. Nina admired him but did not desire him, as she had desired his music classmate. No doubt, the cause of her growing frigidity was the consequence of this conflict, for which there was no solution. Nano had no choice but to accept the facts and resign himself to being a sheet of ruled paper, as he had once commented., there was the culprit if he, by inviting her to sing at the piano-bar and collaborating in her success with her encouragement and arrangements, for which she was not prepared. Nano had the sad feeling that for Nina, he was still the guy in the deckchairs who played the guitar well, attracted only by his eyes' color, the inspiration for his first song.
“Sure, Nina; I agree.”
“Then a good cold water bath will do you good. Come on, don't be cold, and take a shower with me!”
The pool conversation had darkened the enthusiasm with which they had woken up, and they quietly returned to the house.
The hostess made breakfast for them, but Nina barely drank a cup of coffee. Her expression revealed sudden discomfort. She had even lost the healthy pink color of her cheeks. The woman feared that she might be ill because the day before, she had eaten hungrily.
“Not feeling well?” She asked alarmed.
“Yes, Oana; It is only slight dizziness; it must be from the bath in the pool.
The water was chilly!”
“It is strange because the chilly water rather stimulates you. Wouldn't the bad for missi you ate last night be you? But this morning, you seemed very excited!
“Don't worry about me, it's something that's been no good for me.”
Nano was also alarmed because he thought this dizziness must have a cause, and he could not imagine what it could be.
“Nano, I would like to eat strawberries. Where could we buy strawberries?”
“Nina, we are in the wilderness; there are no supermarkets or greengrocers here. Where can we get strawberries in this place? It won't be a whim!”
“I don't know, but you have to go find strawberries.”
Nina suddenly felt nauseous and wanted to vomit, and she couldn't hide the symptoms anymore.”
“Nano ... I think I'm pregnant!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I'm sure. I have all the symptoms of pregnancy!”
“Your classmate!”
“Yes, Marc!”
“I don't know if I should congratulate you or pity you.”
“My parents shouldn't know anything. I have to abort it. Nano, help me! We have to find a gynecologist who performs abortions and does not ask questions.”
“It is not so simple, Nina, you are only 15 years old, you cannot abort without the consent of your parents.”
“My God, what a mess I've gotten myself into because of that damn night! I can not have a child at fifteen and give up my dreams and projects!”
“Don't you think the father should know?”
“Who, that stupid and cocky Marc? No, Nano, he's less than anyone!”
The hostess of the house had not been present during the first symptoms. When she came back with more coffee, Nina had nausea and vomiting again. The Romanian woman recognized the symptoms of pregnancy and dared to ask Nina:
“Good heavens, girl, won't you be pregnant?”
But Nina couldn't answer, because nausea continued. Nano believed that he should cover it up, and she did not hesitate to deny it.
“No, surely, it is something that will have been bad for her.”
“You should know better than nobody!”
“Precisely for this reason, Nina cannot be pregnant.”
“I understand... I will make you an infusion of some herbs that will do you good.”
When the woman entered the house, Nina reacted.
“Thanks, this has to be our secret.”
“Until when?”
“Until I get an abortion and this nightmare is over. We have to get out of this house ...!”
“And where will we go?”
“I don't know, I can't think clearly. Think about me!”
“Nina, face the facts, this is not a game; your mother has to know. Only she can help you.”
“If I have to go back to my mother, I want to ask you something very delicate, and you can refuse if you don't accept it. I don't want anyone to know that I'm pregnant since March. Could you assure that it's
yours?”
“Nina, are you asking me to convince your mother to authorize your abortion?”
“Yes, I beg you ...”
“Do you know what you are asking me means?”
“I know, but I don't want anyone to know who the father is, because I hate him and I don't want him to meddle in my decision to abort. If you take responsibility for everything, it will be easier. My mother appreciates you, and she will be easier for her to accept the abortion.”
“Nina, this is not a singing duet. You ask me to be an accomplice to your abortion.”
“Yes, and I know it is a hard decision, but you are my best friend, and I need your help.”
Nano remained in dramatic silence. He was trying to imagine the consequences of what she asked him to do. But if he disagreed, she would be much more miserable, and he felt a great affection for her and did not want to see her suffer.
“Okay, I will do what you ask me. I suppose it is a test for the value of our friendship!.”
“Thanks, Nano, I knew I could trust you!”
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